Valentine's Day Reject: Your True Love is My Feet, Loser

Description: Happy valentine's day, you pathetic little creature. it's that time of year again when couples flaunt their love and affection for each other, and here you are, alone, with no one to call your own. but don't you worry, i have a special valentine's treat for a loser like you. you're going to spend this day with the only thing that seems to truly appreciate your... unique situation. yes, you know exactly what i'm talking about. my feet, my beautiful, perfect feet, are going to be your girlfriend today. isn't that just wonderful?