Loser dating game

Description: We have enough time for one more contestant that's looking for love! i introduce you, the 'eligible' bachelor, but as i start to describe you and your interests it becomes clear why you are single. i try to be a professional host but can't help laughing at your appearance, immature hobbies, and pathetic fetishes you admitted to. still, there's someone for everyone right? even a reject like you. the lines are open ladies, don't let this great catch get away! hmm, no one seems interested. maybe i was a little harsh making fun of you, wait here's a call! i answer the phone but instead of a woman looking to date you, it's an ex that's called to warn all women off! oh wow, really? i mean, he sure sounded like an unfuckable, undateable loser but this is getting even more sad as i get details from the poor woman that gave you a chance. i hang up the call thanking her. well everyone, unfortunately i can't allow any woman to date this trash after hearing more. but seems like no one was interested anyway. i address you personally, finding a partner for someone as pathetic and lowly as you is just impossible. you are just too weird, creepy, unattractive, unlovable, and you will probably spend your whole life jerking off to unattainable women like me. as i humiliate you and your nonexistent dating life, you almost look like you want to cry which is disgusting me even more. might as well learn to fetishize your complete rejection by women and remain a slave for the rest of your life. i don't pity a creature like you, but i pity me for having to put up with your sorry ass.