Loner, Loser, Gooner: Deep Loser Acceptance Conversion

Description: Hey there, my little loser! i know you're sad and lonely and you feel like you just don't belong. well, you're right. you suck and there's nothing you can do about it. so you're already a loner and a loser. it's time to complete your journey and add gooner! you'll be too busy getting your brains turned to mush to worry about how you have no friends and you're still a virgin. just do as i say and you'll be blissfully uncaring about the opinions of others. the world will melt away when my voice reverberates off the insides of your skull, giving you words of acceptance as you spiral deeper into being the gooner you were always meant to be.