Eating her Cake

Description: Your wife and my bestie has become a total bridezilla. i'm so sick of hearing about her caterer and her cake and how everything has to be perfect! well, tomorrow is the big day and i want to give her a lesson what matters and what doesn't and what does not matter is her fucking cake.  i cancelled on the after-rehearsal lunch with the bridal party knowing that cake would be setting in her fridge completely vulnerable to catastrophe because it's being guarded by a complete moron, and that's you.  i come over and act like i was expecting to find her home and when i don't, i tell you that i'm so hungry i'm just going to grab a little something from the fridge. then i go and i eat her entire 3 tier cake. it's a struggle but it's completely worth it.  when i walk out, i'm a little bloated and you ask me if i ate the cake. no, duh. i just made a sandwich like i said. but my huge burps and inflated belly tell the truth. you give me the third degree! asking to smell my hands and saying my burps smell like cake. nothing you can do now is there?! oh well. hahahahahahahahaha!!!