WASband is MY Valentine!

Description: Poor useless, old, fucking hag, were you expecting flowers? jewelry? maybe a nice little dinner at your favorite restaurant in town? you foolish old hag, your wasband won't even be coming home tonight, no, no. if he does, he'll be laying himself to rest on the couch or in the spare bedroom that has become his permanent residence to avoid any contact with you. ever since god is brandon came along your bare minimum, lazy, bitter and nagging ways we're no longer going to be his fate, now he'd much rather spend his time in his office, working hard and secretly stroking under his desk for his one and only goddess brandon, he'd much rather go out after work and get a little hydrated and spend some time on the phone or chatting with me in a parking garage and below freezing temperatures then go home to his warm house where you sit, simmer in your bitterness and rage. just because you slap some lipstick and mascara on a pig doesn't make it pretty, i would say that your glory days are long over but unfortunately for you, you never had any glory days. you were just the most acceptable person to marry and breed with at the time. there's never been an ounce of love or lust between the two of you and now goddess brandon is between the two of you, and she is a power, an entity, a divine feminine energy you're incapable of removing or competing against. today, tomorrow, forever, your husband is now your wasband, your roommate, but nothing more.