Lotion Your Lard

Description: As your body grows bigger, heavier, and wider, its needs are going to change. the thicker the layer of fat on your body, the harder it is to do everyday tasks. you'll find yourself huffing and puffing just going up a few stairs. sweat won't just be accumulating on your brow, however; it will be between every thicken roll. you're going to have to start showering every single day, pig. that is, unless you want to be such a gross, disgusting hog that people can smell you before they see you. then, by all means, feel free to ignore this warning. for those that want to maintain some increment of their humanity, take heed.