Your Perfect Match

Description: (custom, no names used) you can't get a date, let alone find a girlfriend, even though you've been very active on dating sites. you've heard that any loser can get laid on tinder; apparently, anyone except you. you've gathered an unimaginable amount of dislikes and rejections over the years. however, you've somehow managed to get a few dates with women. no return dates, just one date. you didn't know that those women agreed to go out just so that they could be entertained and have a laugh at your expense. after years of failures, you've come to understand that you can't succeed without help, and that's where i come in: at love by arelia, we guarantee that we can find a partner for anyone, or your money back! i've studied your case in-depth and found the perfect match. yours was the most challenging case ever; i've seen plenty of losers, but not anyone like you, the dictionary definition of a loser. stupid moron? check. physically inadequate and unattractive? check. helpless goof? check. socially inept? check. failure at work? check. girly sissy wimp? check. jerkaholic? check. useless in bed? check. failure at everything? check. you are the complete opposite of what women want. my female clients have laughed at your profile. no woman wants to go out with you, but i've found a solution, the only match for you...are you ready to meet her? the viewer is assumed to be a white man with a penis.