You Will Be My Protein

Description: Oh that was such a good workout! i am staaaaarving! i'm going to make one of my famous protein smoothies- i use tofu, cashew milk, berries, chia, maple syrup, and hemp hearts. it's so good! would you like one?    ohhhh no!!! i forgot to buy tofu- i can't believe this! no, it's not going to work without tofu- that's the protein part of the protein smoothie. what am i going to do? i'm so hungry - i can't think straight. ahhh, there is one thing that i can do...i don't want to do it - but  i think i have to. i'm going to have to eat you. i'm sorry, but i really need to. i'll make it painless- well almost painless. my throat is so giant compared to your little body that you will just glide down easily. i promise that i will be as gentle as possible, ok? i won't chew you or anything like that- i'll just swallow you whole and make it as quick as possible.