Vacation Gains for Office Fatty

Description: Gosh, going from an active job to a sedentary office job already made me so damn fat. sitting all day in my comfy chair on wheels, office potlucks every week, free lunch on fridays, donuts in the break room every morning... i had to replace my entire wardrobe with (bigger) stretchy options months ago. i thought a two week vacation from work might result in some activity or a slowing of my appetite. but against all odds, i'm somehow inexplicably unable to fit into my work clothes now?? great! what am i supposed to wear now?