Goon Addiction Counseling #1: Onboarding

Description: You've come to me with a problem regarding an itch you can't help but scratch. and scratch. and scratch. i smile sweetly and welcome you in, and you feel as if you can really trust me to help. gooning has, in fact, affected your life in such a rough way.but what you don't know is that i've got a master-crafted regiment for you. that sweet smile on my face was too convincing for you to see the evil in my eyes. that trusted reference you received on me was true -- i do work wonders on a broken mind.but the wonders themselves, are the depths at which i'll sink you to, to experience a true, irreparable, indulgent gooning addiction. getting better? why help with that when i can make you worse?